She has, for as long back as I can remember, shouted at me on every alternate day of my life to organize my wardrobe. One fine morning I discover that her wardrobe has become a bit untidy. Yippee! Now’s my chance to payback. “Mom”, I shout, “Your wardrobe’s messy. Clean it at once”, I say with a good imitation of hers. “Shut up”, she shouts right back. “I go to work every morning. I come back and prepare food. I keep running behind you guys all the time. It is completely justified if it gets disorganized once in a blue moon. On the other hand, what work do YOU have? Nothing. And look at the state of YOUR cupboard. Resembles a garbage bin. Go clear it up RIGHT NOW.”
Sounds familiar? I could bet my entire left toe (I need the leg) that scenes of such kind repeat themselves in almost every household. I doubt that there’ll be anyone (at least anyone my age) who’ll disagree when I say that mothers have this unique ability of never accepting their mistakes (especially those faults which they keep shouting at us for) and instead they blame it others. No mother is an exception. Mine is a case study.
So here I am listing 3 exceedingly outrageous incidences when my mother outdid her own self in this witty game of denying and blaming that only moms know how to play.
1.) Dated: 15.10.2010
Mom wanted to feed me 'Goud (sweet) Shira'. I told her to wait a moment till I could finish typing. But maternal instincts over-powering her, she took a large helping in a spoon and bent over to feed me. But before I could even open my mouth, she ended up spilling it all over my laptop. The excessively ghee-soaked shira not only managed to get in every nooks and crevices of my laptop's keyboard but also coated my laptop screen with oil.
BUT IT WAS NOT HER FAULT.
One look at my face, she knew I was too angry to even scream at her. To cover up her folly, she tripled her normal volume and informed me that I was stupid to sit with the laptop on the sofa! She went on and on about how laptops should never be used while sitting on a sofa.
Oh, yeah right. Where did I get the incorrect notion that laptops were invented so that one could carry them around as per comfort? How exceedingly stupid of me! Not Mom’s fault at all; all mine, all mine! D’uh !
2.) Dated: 28.10.2010
My matchbox-sized MP3 player was kept on my bed. Mom came from office and unceremoniously dumped her purse, dupatta etc on my bed (as usual). When she went to pick it all up, she unknowingly caused my MP3 player to fall off the bed onto the floor.
BUT IT WAS NOT HER FAULT.
Bed, again, is no place to keep the player lying around. One small MP3 clusters the whole bed. Stupid me!
But the next one really does take the cake !
3.) Dated: 29.10.2010
Mom broke the coffee bottle just after she had finished cleaning the refrigerator. She opened the door of the freezer compartment and (no witnesses as to how but) whoops-a-daisy; down fell the bottle!
BUT IT WAS NOT HER FAULT.
Our maid, Suvarna Mavshi, had cribbed about being over-worked while cleaning the fridge and it was her ill-feeling towards her work which had caused the bad luck!
Love you mom for these outrageous complaints which made me double up with laughter. Keep them coming with all your daily scoldings which have groomed me into what I am today !
